Is Marriage Still Relevant? Divorce, Relationships, and Sex ...

Is Marriage Still Relevant? Divorce, Relationships, and Sex

Posted by Jeffrey Paul Coleman on Monday, June 27, 2011 ? 16 Comments?

Is Marriage still relevant? Less and less people think so?including Christians. We have become a culture of divorce, free sex, and relationships resting on pleasure. Something has got to change. Should marriage be abandoned? Or should it be restored and rebuilt? Our guest author, Jeffrey Paul Colmen, presents a questioning of marriage. Part 2 covering the counter argument will publish tomorrow morning. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below on marriage, divorce, and sex.

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So, perhaps it?s not the nicest thing to say, but?I?m not sure I believe in marriage anymore.

I mean, think about it:?For the past 60 years, 50% of marriages have ended in divorce.

So what?s the difference between that?(divorce)?and two people dating, then breaking up?

Well, for one,?If you?re married, I hear you get guilt-free sex.?But then, if you?re married.?And get divorced ? it?s a little more messy?than if you were just dating and then broke up.?I mean, there?s no guarantee it?ll be more or less emotionally painful.?But if you get divorced, it doesn?t just mess the two ex-partners up,
It messes up the children,?And the couple?s relationships with friends,?And oftentimes, job performance and church attendance drop significantly.

And too often, due in part to a divorce, women and children are thrown into poverty. Besides, one might argue, getting marriage can introduce all this (perhaps undue) pressure! I mean, it?s a hell of a commitment to say, ?I love you ?til death do us part [or, if you?re Mormon, forever].? That sort of long-term commitment takes, I guess, a lot of love and a lot of trust and a lot of, well, commitment. It?s a risk.?But it no doubt has its rewards.

Still, I keep thinking, if only the pressure weren?t there ? I mean, people lose A LOT of sleep worrying about this commitment, whether they?ll be able to keep it, or whether they?ll be able to keep on keeping it, or if their spouse will keep on trusting the other to keep it ? because you never know how life will go. And there are a lot of pretty, smart, competent, kind people out there.

So how can you say, ?There?s just ONE??

Anyways, aren?t we supposed to love EVERYBODY??How are we supposed to do that, if we?ve got to expend so much energy on loving just this one person extra-specially, and not worrying about it, or worrying that the other person?s worrying about it, or worrying that the continued commitment will make you lame or boring or stale or less you.?At the very least, we can all agree, it sounds like hard work.?And if marriage is so worth it, and already such hard work,?I would think it?d be nice if there were a little less social pressure.?A little less pressure on those who are thinking they at least right now (even though they?re getting up in years) would prefer for whatever reason not to get married.

A little less pressure on those already married thinking they might get a divorce.
A little less pressure on those considering getting married that they keep it forever. Or else!
A little less pressure on those wanting to get married, but perhaps wanting a partnership that looks a little bit maybe somewhat ?unorthodox.? (Again, assuming marriages are tough, intimate, totally-worth-it-but-so-engaging sorts of things, I would think it better if we left each couple to figure out what their marriage will look like for them than pressure them to make it look like ours, especially if ours isn?t doing so hot as it is.)

And, in light of that, I think it?d be in order to put a little less pressure on those maybe thinking about marriage but also thinking they might like getting a little intimate first with somebody special without yet worrying about the bonds and ties of the life-long commitment we commonly call marriage.?I mean, I?d be the first to admit, I LOVE weddings. They?re some of the happiest occasions life has to offer, and not just for the couple newly wed.?And I?m not saying I like divorce, nor that I like it when couples break commitments of any kind.?It?s sad, and painful, and can mess you up forever.?But it doesn?t have to.?And all I?m saying is, if we eased up the pressure a little bit, the marriages that do last, might last a little longer, and be a little happier.

And the marriages that don?t last??Well, it?s my hope the two ex-partners, rather than feel heartbroken, anxious, lonely AND socially condemned, they?d feel a little more loved. Because hey! No pressure, dude (or dudette). God?s got you covered.?He is, after all, Love. And Love never fails.

Do you think marriage is still relevant? What is your opinion on the Biblical ethics of marriage, divorce, and sex?

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Source: http://www.theology21.com/2011/06/27/is-marriage-still-relevant-divorce-relationships-and-sex/

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